I guess I can’t say that my life is never interesting

One of my many awesome talents is being able to attract weird people. Here’s this week’s story:

I was in the library reading on my Kindle before I was going to meet my friend (Little Brother by Cory Doctorow if you’re interested). As anyone could see by walking by, I was engrossed in my reading and obviously didn’t want to be disturbed.  I even had my headphones in to  reinforce that I didn’t want to be bothered. This guy apparently sucks at reading body language.

Me: *looks up from reading at the guy that’s awkwardly standing in front of my desk*

Him: Sorry, what time is it?

Me: *looks at watch* 11:30

Him: Thanks. Hi my name is —–. *sticks out hand*

Me: Uhh hi I’m Alison. *shakes his hand*

Him: *takes my hand, kisses it and gives a ‘sexy look’.* I think you’re beautiful.

Me: Uhhh thanks? *slightly freaked out face*

Him: Do you have a boyfriend? [note: he may have said ‘do you want a boyfriend?’ I couldn’t tell because he was whispering. Either way, it’s creepy]

Me: Uhhhhh yes. *getting more freaked out*

Him: *still holding my hand and kisses it again trying to be seductive* Oh, well what do you think of me?

Me: You’re really not my type. *at this point I was really freaked out and was praying that someone would walk by and see that something was not right*

Him: *realizing that I was visibly creeped out? or that he had no chance of scoring* Oh, it was nice to meet you. *kisses my hand again and gives me an incredibly awkward side hug*

As if this wasn’t creepy enough, I had something very, very similar happen to me at the mall back in high school. The incredibly creepy part is both guys had the same name and used the ‘what do you think of me?’ line. I’m fairly convinced that they may be the same person. Weird, right?

Now I have decided that a) I need to start wearing a ring on my left hand and b) I need to start sitting in more populated parts of the library.

(Also, why is it so incredibly hard to find a nice guy who is not creepy? Preferably one that I like?)


2 comments on “I guess I can’t say that my life is never interesting

  1. Ew! Okay, that’s gross. I’m sorry this happened to you! What’s up with these men who think women like being bothered?

    I don’t know if this’ll help, and you probably already realized this, but it’s totally okay to be rude to people that are freaking you out. It’s okay to not shake people’s hands, to not answer questions, and to tell people to leave you alone. I used to get people doing this to me all the time freshman/sophomore year, until eventually I figured out how to send out a “fuck off” vibe and the weirdos have mostly stayed away.

    I know you were probably reacting automatically to “weirdo guy” (because that’s what I used to do– I even handed this drunk my Spanish textbook once because he asked for it and I “didn’t want to be rude.” STUPID.) but taking a few seconds to think through your reactions is a good thing to do in situations like this. Also: monosyllabic answers in as bored a tone as possible, if you MUST say something. I’ve found it works pretty effectively?

    • Thanks for the tip. I know I should start being mean but being in NM it scares me with all the gang activity we have.

      I think I should start using “Sorry, my mom told me not to talk to strangers”. Think it will work? haha

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